Question: What does a Lesbian bring on a second date?
Answer: A U-Haul!
Sound familiar? It should… This stereotype comes from a pretty common reality; ladies tend to jump into relationships faster than our male counterparts. Emotions run high, things get intense, and BAM! Before you know it, “you” have become a “we”. I’m sure every lesbian has made a u-haul joke, or teased a friend for u-haul tendencies or behavior, or experiences it at least once in her lifetime.
Obviously, there are exceptions out there, but for the majority of us it seems to be a part of the lesbian condition…an inevitability. So maybe we should just embrace it. It’s clear we can’t avoid it, so there’s no point in trying to. Life’s too short and only we can live it. If you find comfort in being with another person, and vice-versa – in that moment, for however long it lasts, it can be pure bliss. Is there any weight to The Great Lesbian U-haul Myth? Probably.
I think women fall into relationships faster than men for two reasons: 1. Women are conditioned to mate; nesting is in our blood. 2. We have less of a communication barrier between us. Staying up until the wee hours of the morning exchanges anecdotes of our lives with one another, and going home with the distinct feeling that you’ve known this person your whole life… Hell, you might even be in love with this person! Combine the instinct to couple and ability to communicate openly and it’s no wonder we fall into relationships head-first. No protective padding to break our fall.
The problem is that something that begins so fast tends to end equally as abruptly. This happens for a variety of reasons – whether you run out of things to talk about, realize that you’re actually not best friends, you’re not as compatible as you thought, you have different sexual needs, or you need some alone time after such an intense “getting-to-know-you” phase. And when it ends, it’s painful. Really painful. We tend to invest too much emotion, make plans way too far in the future, and integrate the other person too deeply into our lives… So when we break up, we lose our best friend, our emotional support, and our future dreams.
Maybe I’m being a overly dramatic… But you can’t honestly tell me you haven’t experienced this before. What’s important is that we at least try to be realistic. Acknowledge what’s happening. Try to stay true to yourself in the process. Don’t lose who you are or forget your friends. Your partner should enhance your life… Not become it.
The truth is that while we should be careful and try to protect ourselves, at the end of the day most people just want to be happy, and for most of us that tends to include being intimate with another person – regardless the speed at which it happens. While there will probably be consequences, if you’re prepared to take them in stride, I say CARPE DIEM biatch! Be in love!
Because why the hell not?