Ultimately no one else can tell you if you are a lesbian. It is a journey that you have to go on of self discovery and figure it out on your own. There are many resources online that can help answer some questions you may have about your sexuality.
Yes, some people just know they are a lesbian and the process is a bit more simpler for them.
Some people don’t realize until later on in life. Life leaves you many clues but you may not put all of these clues together or have super strong feelings until later in life and that is perfectly OK. You are on your journey and creating your story every day. You can change and live the life you dream of, filled with happiness and with someone who is right for you.
There are many different things that may come up in your life that can lead to you questioning your sexuality:
Lack of interest in dating someone of the opposite sex.
You may find people of the same sex attractive.
Experimenting in same-sex behavior including touching or kissing (may be under the influence of alcohol).
Having LGBT friends, and questioning yourself, “How do I know I’m straight?”
Having romantic or sexual attraction from a same-sex friend.
Having a deep emotional connection with someone of the same sex.
For me my story was a bit different. I realized I had strong feelings for women at the age of 13 and I was scared to admit it, so I never told anyone. It wasn’t until I was in college and told my best friend that I was bisexual at the age of 19. What was really strange was that she was too. It became easier to talk to her about my feelings towards women. Even though we chose different paths and she married a man we are still great friends to this day and I can go to her if I have to talk about something. Now me on the other hand I am definitely a lesbian!
Here are some great tips to start you on your journey of discovery:
Be true to yourself and who you are and listen to your feelings.
Do you want to know what it is like to kiss women and want to know what it is like?
Do you fantasize about sleeping with women or watch lesbian porn?
You can’t stop thinking about your best girl friend and you want to kiss her.
Do you have this gut feeling that no man is ever going to be right for you?
Now ask yourself:
Am I weak in the knees and have butterflies when I are around certain girls?
How do I react when I see gay couples in public? Am I curious and want to know more?
Would I check out a local gay event?
Do I see myself hanging out at the local gay club? Would I be afraid or excited to walk in the door and make friends with other lesbians? Would I go to a lesbian bar by myself?
Do I want to act on these feelings?
Would I feel a huge relief if I told someone about my sexual curiosity?
Can I see myself dating a women and being in a successful relationship with her?
When meeting women make sure not to put too much pressure on yourself or the women you are talking to. Try and take things slow and really take the time to get to know her. You won’t know if the two of you could be great friends or lovers without creating a solid friendship foundation first. You may have heard the stereotypes about lesbian and how they move quickly, The Uhaul Lesbian, ect. To be completely honest the most amazing relationships I have been in were the ones where I took my time in getting to know her first.
There is no black or white just a sea of grey and you can fall anywhere along the Kinsey scale. Just be OK with who you are right now and learn more about yourself each day. To learn more about the Kinsey scale click the image blow or read our blog post about the LGBT Spectrum here.